well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
