white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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