also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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