I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
