Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
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I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
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you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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