Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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