and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
