dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
