yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
