He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
