dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
