I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
