Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
