In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
The ass gains better be worth it
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
