my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
