If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Come see our sink grown plant.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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