You really coming over, don't trick.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
