I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
