well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
