oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
