are you so shy because you have an std?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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