I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
