she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
