Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
