you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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