ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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