its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
