We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
