That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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