Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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