My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
