She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
