i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
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What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
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When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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