I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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