so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
