I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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