Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize