What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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