i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
