There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
