I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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