My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
