Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
