IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
