Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
