I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
