R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
