she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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