I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
