You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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