If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
