the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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