I'm going to jail i love you
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
