Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
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There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
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