he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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