even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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