you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
