I need help removing her.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
