Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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