I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
