Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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