He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize