I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
