The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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