According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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