i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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