i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
